somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
