You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
