so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
