We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
