Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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