How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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