Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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