she looked like the bat from fern gully.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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