so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
