Im at strip club and am horny
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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