just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Couch. On fire.
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