Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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