she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
