all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
