You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
