So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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