Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
