i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
