Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I could fuck to npr.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
