be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
