Kiss
Puke
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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