He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Still dying that you shit outside
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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