Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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