Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
