saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
