I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just cropdusted the office
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
