is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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