Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
