i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
