so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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