the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
