come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
