You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Boobs are out for the taking
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
