Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
