i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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