I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Say something about gay babies.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
