wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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