Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
