shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
