I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
