Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
