Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
