just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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