Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
