I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
