Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
