Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Randomize
