i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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