therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
