Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize