I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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