Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
