Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
