She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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