It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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