Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
