Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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