I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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