never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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